Welcome to the Episode!
Schweta Gandhi joins us to discuss the challenges modern parents face, practical parenting tools, and how to build emotionally resilient children. This episode emphasizes mindful parenting, communication, and emotional intelligence.

Ryan: If you don't want to talk about it here?

Schweta: I run a school where there are 600 children, and I meet so many parents on a daily basis, worldwide. The biggest mistake parents are making these days is that they are very busy. They are focused on their business and don't have time for their children.

Ryan: But we build our lives for the children, don't we?

Schweta: But in this day and age, you know, everyone else will be more involved with the child. Second is, everyone else will be more involved with the child. 90 percent of parents complain

Bringing this up, there's a lack in parenting first.

I quickly

Instill the habit of waking up early

Ryan: Confident Kids This podcast is for people who think about the better Shares a lot of insights on tapping additionally, I am a nutritionist. I know what slide. She also mentioned what brain and height development seven, seven, seven,

you usually talk about that seven, seven, seven rule for kids. This episode is a guide for people like you and me who are parents looking to connect more deeply with our kids.

And we don't know how to do it as parents. This one is my gift to you.

Shehata, this is amazing. I am super excited to be here today with another fellow parent. I'm assuming you have beautiful kids. I have an 11-year-old, and today I want to pick your brain as a child psychologist, more as a parent who has the science behind how we behave with our kids and how we behave with ourselves as parents.

So I'm going to dive straight into it. Absolutely. I remember my first discussion with my wife when we were dating, and one of my friends said to me, ask her whether she wants to have children. I said, no, I don't want to have children. And I was like, no, no, you can't ask that question. You got to wait till you get married.

And then, you know, decide whether you want to have a kid or not. So my first question is, should dating couples or people having an arranged marriage talk about it? And even after you get married, how do you approach the subject to have kids or not to have kids? What's your take as a child, let's say, expert on this?

Schweta: So, uh, having a child is a very subjective thing, right? I may love as an individual to have children, but the person that I am dating may completely averse the idea of having children. So, of course, before getting married, you must have a chat with your partner about what your goals after marriage are.

How do you want to take it further? Whether you want to, like, how do you want to work? Whether you want to stay with the parents, with the family, you want to stay nuclear? Whether you want to have children, because having children, it changes your universe, right?

Ryan: Absolutely.

Schweta: So, you need to be prepared in many ways, right?

First aspect is, are you emotionally ready for it? Right, so you both talk that, are we emotionally ready for having a baby? Second is, are we financially ready for it? Because, well, kids are expensive. Right, taking from school to classes to simple things like diapers, you know, kids are expensive today.

Ryan: Oh, I remember diapers.

I actually did an entire costing after my son. And I was like, dude, I spent nearly 250,000 rupees on diapers.

Schweta: Diapers for random, right?

Ryan: Yeah. It's like I want the German diaper, I want the American diaper. Because, you know, I buy the raisins and the almonds which are

Schweta: Yeah,

Ryan: the California almonds. Correct, correct.

So I am like, okay, my kid needs this. And I think many of us who are working and earning well, we want to spoil our children. We have one or two children. But do we really need to pamper our kids and, and do we need to have that thought before we even have our kids, like, can I budget for a child that is coming in?

Should couples start thinking about this before they have a kid? Or like our parents, do we just go with the flow?

Schweta: Or should I know the answer?

The world is growing at such a fast pace and with AI coming in, with the businesses evolving, changing so much. The whole world is changing at such a fast pace. You really need to be very well calculated about what I want, how I want, when I want.

There is a lot of mental game that follows, right? So you have to be very, very sure about this decision that I know what I'm

Ryan: doing. So you said it's going to flip your life. You know, whenever couples come to me now, I'm a nutritionist. I do health coaching. I always tell people you should have a planned pregnancy from my domain.

The planned pregnancy is. Your body physically, your genetics, the woman's egg, the man's sperm need to be at the highest possible level. So I tell a lot of people, you need to have a planned pregnancy. But I also run one of India's largest nutrition clinics with almost 150-170 dietitians.

I've lost count now. Right. All 98 percent are women. Right. And I hear the banter in the lunchroom, many of these are young girls just married or getting married. What should the female be ready for in today's day and age where society or even the girl expects to be a leader in her space, have a career?

And also when getting married, be a wife, be the daughter-in-law of the house, take care of the house and put all of this together. And then suddenly you're thrown into this mix of you got to be a mom. So at some point, do I plan my pregnancy as a woman? And what are the tips that you would give as a person with experience having two children and being a child expert?

Schweta: So, uh, giving a little background. Okay, uh, I have two children. I run a school called Happy Minds where I have 600 children in my school. Uh, this has been since past 12 years that I've been running. I started with three students, and today we cater to 20,000 students worldwide. And we are present in 52 countries of the world and all of this I built myself in past 12 years with getting married, having 2 children, postpartum, getting pregnant, delivering, everything, right?

My daughter is just 1 year old,

Ryan: right?

Schweta: So, all of this, every step of the way, on your words because they were asking, I took a step, or he repeatedly gives, why do you understand?

Ryan: So, this

Schweta: People without

Ryan: Dang it

Schweta: will be played against Donal

Ryan: About the unappreciated

Schweta: It's because I go for manifestation, because you go for it. You are going to, you know, unfold your life with the actions, with the thoughts, with every cell in your body listening to your thoughts, and you taking your direction of life in that way.

It's your manifesting through what you're thinking, your husband's thought. He never wanted kids. But well, I convinced him not for one, but for two.

Ryan: So you convinced him. In fact, it's very, very similar. My wife is the most amazing woman in terms of running the business, taking care of the house, and even taking care of me.

But I remember one day she said to me, "I don't think I want children." Yeah, right. And in my mind, I was clear. And both of us had a late match. I think 30, 33, right? So obviously, and my mom, my mother-in-law is a gynecologist, right? Okay. So, of

Schweta: of course,

Ryan: then she

Schweta: knows what's happening in there. She's like, no, no,

Ryan: no, you need to have kids very soon.

I remember that even after getting married, there was this kind of uncertainty, like, will I have a kid? Will I not have a kid? And for her, it was like, I don't want a kid. Maybe I do want a kid.

Ryan: So

Ryan: I think what's important is that sometimes dialogue between partners about having a kid or not having a kid. That dialogue

Schweta: really helps.

It helps. And see, not a lot of times both of you will be on the same page. But you have to come to the same page, like, you know, talk, convince, do's, don'ts, pros, cons, figure everything out, put your thoughts and feelings out there. Do we want to have that legacy of love? Right? We want to nurture, we want to build our family. What are we going to do if we don't have children?

What are we going to do if we have children? So thinking that through is very important. But don't you think

Ryan: sometimes, I mean, this is a really sensitive topic, you know. What if we have children? What if we don't have children? When we grow old, who will be there with us? Is it too early to have this discussion with, let's say, a girlfriend or boyfriend, or should you have it at some point if you're thinking of spending the rest of your life together?

But if you are in a

Schweta: serious relationship and you see marriage in the future, then you should talk about it. You definitely should talk about it because it shouldn't come as a surprise that, oh, you don't want kids, and all this time I was thinking I want to have a family after marriage.

And well, it's very natural for someone to feel that they want to have their own family. But it's also perfectly okay if you belong to the school of thought that doesn't want kids. Both of you need to have a very honest, healthy, open dialogue where you share your thoughts and are also ready to adapt to the person you love.

Okay, you know what, because you love and that's what happened with my husband as well. That okay, you know what, since you want. I'm on board with it. And once I had my first child, I was like, you know what, I want another child as well, because I was brought up in a way that with my brother, my entire childhood was so solid, so fun, so happy, because of my brother.

So I always wanted that for my child as well, that you know, it's, it's...

Ryan: Does your husband spoil your children today, Silly?

Schweta: One day in the future.

Ryan: What is it? Discipline or...

Schweta: Life is full of challenges here, so what is a good marriage? In this context, if you don't have a partner, you will show everyone that you are spending your time well. If you want to see life, if you want to influence life, if you want to live life to the fullest, and if you are doing well, then you will do well for your children. So you say it from within, and you present it. Onboard with it or if somebody's very like two of my brothers out of my three brothers, two of my brothers, they're married for 10 years and they don't want kids at all.

And both of them are absolutely on board with the idea of not having children, which is also absolutely correct because they're like it's too much responsibility and we don't want it.

Ryan: I think we also see another trend. This is a generation of couples that don't biologically have their own children but choose to adopt.

And we have a few friends who have adopted children, and it's amazing to see them stepping into parenthood. Absolutely. I feel like I'm my own biological child. How do you guys do it? Is there another aspect to parenting that's more about a conscious choice than biology?

Schweta: Absolutely, yes.

So there are pet parents as well, and they are absolutely comfortable having a pet as their own. You know, they get all the fulfillment and nurturing from the pet, and that's absolutely okay. See, this is a very personal choice. There are no rules to this.

Ryan: And how do we convince our parents in situations where, I still remember, you know, after the first child was born, they were asking me, when are you having the second child?

And I was like, no, you know what? I really love my wife and she's given me one child and I'm super happy with that child. You know, you have society pressure from the parents. Absolutely. Right. And so many parents are like, Oh, what's this? You're going to have pets as parenting. And I think that's absolutely okay in today's day and age.

It is. But how do we convince the older generation?

Schweta: Having an emotional dialogue that connects with the parents, explaining their way of life. Because they have seen the world through a very different lens, and as you get older, your brain's neural pathways keep shrinking, making them believe that their way of life is the right way of life.

What I have done is pretty fulfilling and this is how it should be done. So you just try and talk to them, convince them, and you just get them on board.

Ryan: My son was born, I clearly remember the day.

I vividly remember the day, the smells when he was born. I was in the operating room. It was a natural delivery baby. I remember when I married my wife and I said to her, I don't think this is love. I think this is just logic that we are getting married and we have great companionship. But I remember the day it shifted.

Ma'am, please go inside.

I am a father now and it hit me. It sunk so deep. Like I remember choking and then I felt tears coming out and I'm like, no, no, get it together. Get it together. Yeah, I can imagine. And then that evening when I held him, I was like, okay, this bundle of joy is mine. Yeah. And then a cold sweat hit me. Am I ready to become a parent?

Absolutely. Since that time, I've been thinking that I'm very busy building a business, running the diet clinics. I can't give time to my child, and then I think that I have only one child, so I must give time. So, in many situations, a child gets involved in the wrong things, whether it's with a son or a daughter.

So today, since you are an expert, what are the mistakes we are making, and what should we avoid doing?

Schweta: As I told you, I run a school with 600 children, and I meet so many parents on a daily basis worldwide. What mistakes are parents making in today's times? The number one mistake is that parents are very busy building their lives, building their businesses, and they don't have time for their children.

Ryan: But we do this to build a life for the child, right?

Schweta: Yes, but? During the 0 to 7 years of childhood, when you need to give the most emotional investment, you are not available. Parents are at the office all day, the child is at home, and now with more nuclear setups, children might be in daycare or with a nanny, and parents are building...

Ryan: So, zero to seven is the most important emotional building phase for a child.

Schweta: Yes, I'll explain to you when we get there.

Ryan: Alright, so this is the first mistake, we are very busy.

Schweta: We are very busy. As parents, we don't have time for our children. Number two, I am very stressed, I have office tension, so even when I come home, I stay on the phone, I stay busy, I am not emotionally available for my child.

Number three, I am comparing my child with another child, I am doing so wrong with my child, and it's hitting their self-esteem very hard, making it very low. At this age, a child's confidence and self-esteem should be building. With comparison, I am literally attacking their self-esteem. You should

Ryan: I have a confession to make, I always do this with my child, that I can.

Why can't you be like that boy? So disciplined. Why can't you study like him? It means you are slapping my child, giving him an emotional slap.

Schweta: Absolutely, you're giving an emotional slap, because my child is whole in himself. The way he is, my child is, I have to build him from there. Right, I have to understand how he is. His entire biology, brain chemistry, neural pathways, neural connections, the way he sees the world, are completely different. And my child's brain, his neurons, his connections, his biome, everything is different. I can't even compare two children, not even twins. Biologically, mentally, neurologically, I can't do it. So, why do we compare emotionally or logically?

So this is the third mistake. Not understanding that my mom sometimes talks to me so lovingly, and suddenly gets angry. There is no consistency in my behavior. Sometimes I allow the child to do something, and sometimes I strictly forbid it. My child is not getting a clear message, "Mom, what do you want to say?"

Again, my child's brain, the logic brain, is not developed at all. It is so underdeveloped, but still I am expecting so much logic from my child. Is that fair to my child? No, because their brain isn't even developed, cognitively, to understand, what I am explaining so well, they are not able to understand, is it the child's fault? No, their brain is underdeveloped, their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logical reasoning, understanding, decision making, problem solving, it starts developing at five years, and until when does it develop?

Until we become 25 years old. Oh my God, 25? Yes, so it means

Ryan: Up until 25, the child

Schweta: It could be, meaning this thinking, like his brain is gradually maturing, but when does it fully mature? At 25 years. So throughout this entire journey, from 0 years to 25 years, what do I need to do as a parent with the child? Emotionally connect.

If my child is going wrong somewhere, I need to counsel them, explain with love. Because my child will only know as much as I have taught them. Emotional regulation. If I have taught my child, they will know. But if I don't know how to emotionally regulate myself, then how can I expect my child not to get angry, not to be stubborn, not to be frustrated?

Do I know how to do all this? Can I manage myself? Am I modeling the best behavior or the ideal behavior that I want to see in my child? I can't do it and I'm expecting it from my child. Is this fair? Forget about fairness, it's logically...

Ryan: So, it means I don't feel that much guilt inside, in Hindi you could say it's like a fire within, I am feeling angry with myself, that these are some of the mistakes I am making with my 11-year-old.

So my question is, what do I need to do as a parent because in my mind it's about disciplining. I love my child, yes, my love is one-sided, absolutely. But I also feel like I'm a helicopter parent. Helicopter means always hovering over them, like, did you study? Micromanaging, controlling.

Schweta: Every aspect of his life is too much available, but the child gets completely frustrated. You know, let the child fail.

Let me fail. Let me learn. Let me make mistakes. I will learn and I will come out as a winner. Give me space. Don't be such a helicopter over me.

Ryan: So what are the things we should tell India for all the young parents? What is your advice? What is your advice? Helicopter parent and how do we, hum log with young children.

Is it important for parents to discipline their children? How should it be done? By scolding or by explaining?

Schweta: So first of all, when you talk about discipline, you are also looking at the word discipline in a somewhat negative light, like you have to discipline.

Discipline means punishment. No, discipline and punishment are two different things. Discipline means I am teaching my child regulation and self-control through emotional coaching. Punishment means I am scolding or hitting my child out of fear of the outcome, that is punishment. Discipline is not a negative word. If you understand the true essence of discipline in a proper way, it's a beautiful word and it's a beautiful thing to do with your child.

Ryan: Can you give me an example of how you can discipline, like with your daughter or your child? Okay.

Schweta: Okay, okay, now we all need to keep our children away from junk food and screens, right? We need to keep our children away from all this. Now, what should I do to keep my child away from screens or if they are throwing a screen time tantrum and want to watch screens every day? So, when you ask what parents are doing wrong, adding to that, because I work at the ground level, I meet so many parents, I know that 90 percent of parents are hitting their children, threatening them, locking them in the bathroom, turning off the lights, instilling fear in them to discipline them, which is wrong.

Discipline is a very positive thing to do. Discipline means that I am lovingly explaining and regulating my child and teaching them self-control. But today's children don't.

Ryan: He listens, right?

Schweta: I'll take my child's example. I have set a rule for screen time. In our house, an environment is created where we all follow rule-based behavior.

Ryan: What is this rule-based behavior?

Schweta: In our house, everything has a rule. Rule number one is we don't raise our voice in this house, no matter what needs to be discussed, even between husband and wife.

We may have differences of opinion, but we will always speak respectfully and politely in a low tone. Even if we disagree, we don't raise our voices in this house. In our house, we never associate screen time with meals. In our house, we always have one hour of family time every night.

This is our house rule. In this house, mama and papa are one team. If mama says something, papa will say the same. If mama says no to chocolate, papa will never say yes. Mama and papa are one team. In this house, everybody respects each other, everybody is polite with each other. In this house, every day we have wholesome, healthy, home-cooked meals.

Ryan: Home

Schweta: The food, these are our ground basic normal rules at home. You might think, "Oh, these are very big rules," but no, in my house, these are normal things because what you allow will prevail. If I allow fries, ketchup, sugary drinks, biscuits, packets, Maggi, chips in my house, then they will prevail.

For my child, all this is very normal.

Ryan: Shatji, I have many rich people's children whose pediatric nutrition I handle.

Ryan: Hmm.

Ryan: A lot, almost every wealthy family in India, their child is like this. They don't want to eat Kurkure. Yesterday, a mother called me saying, "Ryan sir, what should I do? This son of mine is manipulating even the driver."

He's throwing such a tantrum for the car that the driver has to stop and buy a ten-rupee packet of Kurkure.

Ryan: Is.

Ryan: When you say rules, but there is the driver, there is the housekeeping, if not, there's the uncle, if not, the parents themselves.

Schweta: If a child is crying for Kurkure, let them cry. There are only three things I won't let a child cry for.

Ryan: Bread

Schweta: Clothing, house, proper clothing for him, healthy homemade food, and the living conditions at home should be right for my child. As a parent, this is my responsibility. Additionally, if my child throws a tantrum for anything.

What should I say to this? I know, child, I understand, I know you wanted it, mama is with you, but you know this is not allowed. You know the rules, child. I have validated my child's feelings, acknowledged that I know you want it. However, so

Ryan: It means there are boundaries to the rules as well.

Schweta: There are boundaries, and when I'm disciplining the child, I scolded them. Did I raise my voice?

I am empathizing with him. I am validating his feelings. That yes, my child, I know what you need. And if you need to cry, go ahead, cry. Mama is here with you. I will comfort him, I will love him. Child, even Mama can't break the rules, right? Now

Ryan: This is your counseling session, I'm thinking of it as my own counseling session, I just understood, when I don't have time.

I give in.

Schweta: Are you doing permissive parenting? I mean, what are you doing? Just to avoid tantrums, you allow everything, like, "I have a lot of work, okay fine, go ahead and eat, okay fine, watch TV, sit down, I'll turn it on, I need to get my work done, I need some peace, go watch TV."

Ryan: Yes, well, permissive, I mean this, and not this.

Schweta: You see, this whole world, people are getting worried about screen time, now screen time, Cocomelon, Peppa Pig, all these things, high graphics, so much motion, video games, all of this is designed in such a way that my child is completely focused on it. It is designed in such a way that they are getting addicted to it. And why are they getting addicted?

Because I don't have time, I'm busy, for my convenience, I've made my child addicted. And to fix this, I scold them, I hit them, thinking that will make them understand. The child is troubled because they are addicted, and this is affecting their brain chemistry, with neurons popping out unnecessarily.

What do we call this? My nervous system, which is so immature, has become overstimulated. And in that, my mom is scolding me, who is my alpha figure. For children, from zero to seven years, we parents are the alpha figures. What does alpha mean? Primarily, the world revolves around them.

Ryan: is.

Schweta: She will wander around me, for now.

After seven years, who becomes their primary focus?

Ryan: Teachers.

Schweta: Friends. Oh, friends? Absolutely. So their primary importance figures become their friends. And now, friends will be around them. They don't like kids.

Ryan: The hen at home is worth the same as lentils.

Schweta: Absolutely. Right? No matter how much of a child expert I am, to my child, I'm just mom. And in the end, mom is just part of the household.

Ryan: I'm a nutritionist, but my son doesn't listen to my nutrition advice.

Schweta: Absolutely yes.

Ryan: So coming back, Shweta Ji, I feel like I am in a live counselling session with you, that I am making so many mistakes, but I will counter you in one take.

Right now, my child got stimulated, I allowed it, sorry, about the video, okay, nothing will happen, play games in the video, I am a bit busy, in a business meeting, doing a podcast, doing a podcast, okay, do it, now he got addicted, today I got counseling from Shweta Ji, when I go back home, I will say, no video games.

Schweta: You need to connect with your child.

Ryan: So, connection means you will have to spend time as well.

Schweta: As a parent, one thing you must give your children is your time. And I am not saying, I don't mean, I have a full-blown career. And I work 8 hours a day. Right? This absolutely does not mean that I should leave my career aside, leave everything, and stay with my child.

No. In the night, I'll share a beautiful night routine with you that we follow, which is ideal and all parents can at least try to follow. At eight o'clock, everybody is back home, kids from their school and classes, and we from the office. At eight o'clock, we come home, then we sit together as a family.

Sit together and eat, how is this food?

Ryan: Home

Schweta: Learn to connect food with home so that the child gets used to home-cooked meals. We often associate food with restaurants, but it's not just about eating. During meal times, talk about what happened at school, what happened at my office, if the child faced any problem, ask them for a solution, what should I do?

That's when the child's emotional intelligence comes out. I give my child my problems, I create hypothetical problems. My four-year-old child, Agastya, I give him my problems. "Mom, you should do this." And he genuinely gives me advice sometimes, and hearing that, I'm like, dude, you're good, right?

Ryan: Should there be a role reversal? Role

Schweta: reversal. They are not mini adults. They are toddlers, and after toddlers, we often think they have superpowers. Where our brain gets stuck, their brain... Because their brain is highly creative right now. Also, we...

Ryan: training

Schweta: ...are giving...

Absolutely, absolutely, and their brain from zero to seven years is designed in such a way that right now they can't differentiate much between reality and fantasy. Until seven years, our brains can't differentiate much, can't differentiate much. So, the more you talk to them, the more their communication, language, and creative brain develop. So, one meal where we discuss everything we did throughout the day. After my meal time, I spend at least half an hour, 8 to 8:30 dinner.

8:30 to 9. We sit on the floor, all four of us. Mom, Dad, Agastya, Amara. We are sitting on the floor, playing with blocks. Or, I am dancing crazily and giving a good laugh to my family. My kids are dancing, or we are all singing out loud. Every day, we have half an hour of dear time. D-E-A-R: Drop everything and

Ryan: and

Schweta: That family ritual of ours is the most beautiful because that's when he brings up such things like, "Mom, this happened at school today," or "Mom, this happened during the day." He never opens up otherwise. I've created such a free environment that everyone opens up. And that is a very sacred time for my family because we emotionally bond, we emotionally open up, and we all bring out our vulnerabilities.

And that's what families are for. So, when I need to discipline my child, I tell them, "Child, I want to make you like Cristiano Ronaldo." And child, I want you to know that the food I give you... I will give you the best food. Just listen to mom. It might not always be very tasty, like outside food, like French fries.

But, this is good food for the child. So I tell you,

Ryan: you

Schweta: Many parents impose things, saying you have to do this, but why? The child will ask, why do I have to do it?

Many parents impose things, saying, "You have to do this." The child will ask, "Why do I have to do this?" The child will ask, "Why do I have to do this?" How will I work on my child's three aspects? Physical, shower, brush, so, clean, hygiene, that is done. Then I will work on their mental aspect. How? Read a book to your child, or tell some, share your story, any inspirational story, lie down in bed, and share some story, read some book.

And the child should have a habit of collecting books, not cars. And where will that come from? The child will learn it from the parents. Whenever a parent comes to me with a complaint, saying my child has this flaw, I tell them parenting is never about your child, parenting is about the parents. What you did wrong reflects in the child, and what you do right will also reflect in your child. And the last thing, how will I make my child emotionally resilient? Before sleeping, I will emotionally counsel my child. How will I emotionally counsel them?

The whole day I observed my child did this wrong, did that wrong, this is not right, the whole day if I am constantly, you know, nitpicking

Ryan: scold him

Schweta: he will get irritated and start selective listening and after a point, "Mom, please, you give lectures all day." Do I want to become that mom? No. Do I want to do that to my child?

No. What I want to do is just observe the child all day. Before sleeping, when we are emotionally connected, when the room is cool, and there are no distractions, I will tell my child, "This happened, we need to do it this way, right child? You are my champion child, you are full of manners, you have so many manners. And children who have manners don't do this. Well-mannered children do this, you, you have such good manners." I am positively disciplining the child through emotional counseling. I am his emotional coach, not his mom, not his friend, but his emotional coach who constantly guides him. The child needs guidance, and the more I guide, the more it will benefit my child. And the last thing before sleeping is affirmations.

I am strong, I am confident, I love to make new friends, I love eating healthy food, I love my school, I love to study new things, I am a curious kid. And when doing affirmations, there are three rules we need to understand carefully. When we practice, many parents say, "I do affirmations, but they don't work for us." Why don't they work? Because there are three rules.

We will activate the subconscious mind with presence. Present future.

Ryan: Past

Schweta: Present, right? Second is, when you speak affirmation, you should not say not, no, or नहीं. For example, if I say to you, Ran, please, do not think of a blue mountain.

Ryan: I thought of a blue mountain.

Schweta: Don't think of a cheese burst pizza from Domino's. Don't think of a hot pink car.

You thought of everything because your subconscious mind does not register "no." So we shouldn't say "I am not sad," we should say "I am happy." And number three, and the most important rule for affirmation, how will it work? I have to feel it, I have to say it with my emotions for it to make its way to my subconscious mind and for me to manifest it in my life.

What do I need to do? I need to say it with feeling: I am a great learner, I love going to school, I am a champion. When my child feels it, only then will it go into their subconscious mind. And, the one hour before sleep is called a very powerful magic hour. Why? Because the things I have thought about, strongly and positively reinforced in my mind, make their way to the subconscious mind. During deep sleep, all those things get imprinted in my subconscious mind. And the next day, whenever such a situation arises, my subconscious mind sends me a subtle message: You are a champion, you can do it.

Whenever I have doubts about myself, my subconscious mind is going to send me that signal. "You are a champion, go ahead." This is our reward routine with the child.

Ryan: Shayata ji, the routine of sitting?

Schweta: Now in the morning, when the child has to wake up for school, and the bus is coming at eight o'clock, what do we parents do? We let the child sleep more, and then I wake them up exactly at seven-thirty, and then it's rush, rush, rush, get up, get up, get up.

Get your child into the habit of waking up a little earlier, and going to bed a little earlier. Wake them up gently, don't jolt them awake with "Child, let's wake up!" Instead, set an alarm and wake them up lovingly. Give their brain some time to transition from theta mode to alpha mode. Because in the first five minutes after waking up, our subconscious mind is still very active. If you bombard the child immediately upon waking, we won't be able to tap into the power of their subconscious mind.

Ryan: And there's also more anxiety.

Schweta: My child's anxiety will go away, stress will go away, and those signals will stay in his body all day. But if I wake him up very gently, with love, the child will feel calm throughout the day. What do we do?

I woke up late and woke my child up late too. I rushed, the child rushed, and my morning is chaotic. Don't do this. Instead, wake your child up gently, wake up early yourself, and start with a positive affirmation. Give your child a preview of what’s going to happen throughout the day. Today this will happen, today we will do this, today we will go here. This way, the child is mentally prepared, because a lot of times it happens that my child is not mentally prepared, and surprises don't go well with kids, leading to tantrums. So, give your child a mental preview of what’s going to happen in their day.

When the child is eating, please don't watch TV during meal times. During morning breakfast, connect with your child. Use all the videos for connecting with your child at that time. And I get ready properly because I believe so much in meditation and manifestation. Every day, before sending my child to school, I make him do 3 minutes of breath work, Om chanting, breathe in, breathe out, pranayama, kapalbhati. Only after doing this, I send him off, and then my child's brain wiring is so strong, and he is ready to take on the world because his entire energy is so channelized.

Ryan: And

Schweta: We won't understand the importance of this three-minute meditation until we do it regularly for thirty days, and then we'll realize, "I can never go back."

I came here in my car, it was a one-hour ride, but I have to do three minutes of meditation. These practices have been going on for years, ancient, proven, proven, proven.

We are doing a lot of wrong things in the name of modernity. We must not forget our roots. Embrace modernity. It's good. But we need to carry forward ancient wisdom. And this is what will make my ideal routine.

Ryan: For this, there is a lot of pressure, which you are facing for your conversation. I want to say something very important to you. There should be a diet plan that is tailored to your needs, so you can manage your time well. You play sports and there, everyone is watching you with great expectations. So, before you get influenced by social media and other distractions, as a Sports Nutritionist, I have seen many sports players, by the age of eighteen, they go abroad, to America, to England for studies. So, sex, drugs, alcohol, this fear that our young child has, like the saying "a prophet is not without honor except in his own town," if I say something to them, where should we parents focus on taking care of the child?

What should be the etiquette? How do we have the conversation? What do I need to do?

Schweta: First of all, parents think that talking about drugs, talking about sex, talking about substances, all these are taboo. So parents don't talk about it, which is wrong. Parents should have an open dialogue with kids, and it should be age-appropriate. It should start from a young age. When my child is two and a half, three years old, I start explaining good touch, bad touch, what private parts are. It all starts with that, right?

As soon as my child gets a little older, I will start talking to them about girls and boys, how gender develops, because it's important to understand how our body parts develop, right? So they want to know about... So, if I explain everything to my child in advance—what sex is, how it happens, why we have curiosity—then, uh, vapes come into schools now, and so many kids are, you know, consuming vapes illegally in school and at a very young age.

So if I tell my child at a young age, "Child, this is what it is, this is what will happen." If I explain everything beforehand, the child will understand the consequences, why we shouldn't do certain things, what our family is like, what our life vision is. If we give the child a complete mapping, then my child will have a clear idea. If a friend ever brings these things to them, it won't excite them because they know better, and I've thoroughly explained everything. You might say, as a parent, "My child doesn't want to listen to me, doesn't want to talk about these things with me." That's why there should be someone in your life who can act as a mentor for your child, someone close to your family, whom your child also looks up to.

If you can identify such a person who can talk to your child. Because as parents, we will do everything possible in this world to protect our child, but still, a parent's words may not be as impactful as those of a mentor whom the child looks up to, maybe at school or in a coaching class.

And

Ryan: At what age should one become a mentor? 14?

Schweta: In a child's life, there are 3 phases of 7 years each. The first 7 is from 0 to 7 years where parents are primary. The more emotional play, emotional investment we can do with the child, the more time, energy, and emotions we can work on. So that's 0 to 7 years. Then comes 7 to 14 years where my child is academically growing. He is understanding a sense of identity, who am I?

This is when their development starts, their academics are forming the base, so it's important to focus on that. And from 14 to 21 years, the child needs a mentor, as this is the phase of self-discovery, where they need to find their true identity. Who am I? They are finding themselves in this world. Who am I?

What am I? What do I like? What don't I like? What is my nature like? Because by then, their brain is matured enough to understand different people and understand themselves as well. At that point, the child also learns a bit of self-introspection. Because their brain develops to that extent. And if I give my child a mentor, and as a parent, if I connect with my child as a friend rather than just a parent, then it's going to work the best way.

And I should tell my child everything in advance, before the world tells my child, I tell my child, before the world introduces, I tell my child.

Ryan: Is it the responsibility of the mom or dad, or should both share the responsibility of telling, before the world does?

Schweta: See, I think it's both mom and dad's responsibility, but you can choose who the child will be more comfortable with on this topic.

And you take the lead accordingly. My son is more comfortable with me. My daughter is more comfortable with her father. He will talk. And at home, talking about periods, talking about sex, a father talking to his daughter about... None of this should be taboo. How can a father talk to his daughter about sex?

No, you just have to explain. Very biologically, scientifically, and it is okay.

Ryan: You are just mentoring. Parents log, we are very shy, embarrassed. Basically, we don't want to talk to our children. And we compartmentalize boy to boy, girl to girl kind of thing.

Schweta: Yes, which is wrong. Child and parent, not mom and dad, you have to be open and not shy.

Ryan: So you are a child expert, so you are saying that this is not a problem, there is no guilt, you are not in a circle.

Schweta: The normal rainfall is 100 percent and we are taking steps, and the father in the family says we have done a lot, but where will we show it? We shouldn't create a distant storm, right?

This is a biological process. Why do we have to, like, hide it or keep it under wraps? And, and these things will greatly impact family dynamics or emotional dynamics.

Ryan: So, this is amazing advice, Shweta. Uh, anxiety, depression. Nowadays, Gen Z joins my company. Everyone says, I am very stressed. Is this happening later?

What is your take on what new parents should do to reduce depression and anxiety in their children?

Schweta: First of all, stress and anxiety are not new concepts. They existed before as well. Our parents experienced them, we experienced them, and our children will too. But now, the context and triggers have changed. What is the biggest trigger for stress and anxiety today?

Can you tell me?

Ryan: Education?

Schweta: No.

Ryan: Social Media?

Schweta: Yes, technology, social media is the biggest trigger of stress and anxiety because people are over-posting, people are over-consuming social media. We are experiencing FOMO, we are getting stressed and anxious over things that shouldn't even matter to us, things that shouldn't affect us at all have become the center of our world in our brains. And that is why we just talked about how we post and ghost. How many minutes do you spend on social media in a day? I spend 10-15 minutes on social media. That's it.

I post and ghost. Right? And that's how it should be. If you need to use social media for work, then do it. Otherwise, in real life, with real friends, pick up the phone, connect, and that's it. Right? So, there's a lot of stress because of social media. There's academic pressure too. Of course, that's happening as well. There's so much cyberbullying.

Which young kids are not able to handle. Recently, there have been so many cases where teenagers are committing suicide because they fell in love with an AI character.

So you can do some research, there are so many case studies. Young boys committing suicide after falling in love with an AI character online. This world is a deceptive world, the world of AI is very deceptive, and we need to protect our children.

And that's why having family rules at home is important. That's why it's necessary to have an emotional connection with children. That's why I shouldn't scold and punish my child, but rather practice positive discipline, inspire my child, and understand the stress my child is facing. Parents are getting angry, comparing, not giving time, and my child already has some stress symptoms in their body, but parents can't do anything good. Many children... Ryan, I have so many young children coming to me, unfortunately, who have anxiety, and it's not just anxiety, it's clinical anxiety. At such a young age, 5, 6, 8 years old, now tell me, these children should just be playing and studying, right? Why?

Because parents are over-scheduling in their routine. Go here, go there, in my childhood, my child... this tuition,

Ryan: This dance class, that dance class, this crowd is a crowd... Absolutely. Over

Schweta: My child is scheduled. He doesn't have any time. And I am so busy myself that I think, okay, my child is busy, I am busy too.

And in my little one's tiny body, there are so many stress symptoms, but because I am so busy, I am not able to identify that and I am not able to work on it. And the stress in my child's body is, of course, getting translated into his brain. Cortisol is increasing, his stress level is rising, my child's social skills are not developing, his emotional regulation is gone for a toss, my child is irritable all the time, stays frustrated, and my child is not able to open up.

Ryan: So, this is a problem I've seen in any family. If the child isn't busy, they'll play video games or go on social media. If they are busy, their mind is occupied. But you're saying that there's so much pressure, sometimes it can even lead to anxiety.

Schweta: So, our

Ryan: Where is the middle line?

Schweta: The middle line is that you engage with your child.

I

Ryan: think we need to spend more time with the child. Time with

Schweta: the child, to connect with the child. I mean, isn't it wrong to think that if there's no school, no classes, and the child is at home, then the child is getting bored, and if they're bored, they should just watch TV or play video games? What is that logic? There are so many other ways to utilize your time.

There are so many beautiful books in the world. There are so many games.

Ryan: Or they go outside to play.

Schweta: Outdoors. In this day and age, if you ask me, what is the most vital play in a child's day, the most vital activity that a child should do? Top of the chart is outdoor activities. Grounding effect, Mother Earth.

It just calms you down. The electrolytes that enter your body from mother nature, from mother earth, will regulate your entire nervous system. Go outside, be out in the open. So, TV is not an option at all. And as a parent, you need to create that kind of ecosystem for your child where you can promote this. Whether it's DIY art for fine motor skills, outdoors for gross motor skills, or engaging the child in some cooking or baking at home to enhance teamwork, how will my child's emotional vocabulary grow?

By doing those things, by experiencing those things. I can tell the child this is happy, this is sad, and teach all that. But that won't help, just looking at a chart and identifying which smiley is happy or sad won't do anything. I need to make the child experience these emotions and teach them how to regulate them through experience.

It's not that you can just flip a switch on feelings. You don't want to be robotic. You

Ryan: To regulate anger, it's important to keep the child engaged and spend more time with them. Recently, a mother and father were following my nutrition plan. The mother was from a boarding school background, and the father was from a joint family. Now they have two children. The mother said, "My child will go to a boarding school," and she believes that the best-disciplined child will come from a boarding school.

My husband is telling me, brother. My wife has made so many rules, so much stress, so much anxiety, running around. I want to keep my child at home and give them love. I was just sitting there thinking about my child who is 11 years old.

Schweta: If you ask me now, because my kids are so young, I don't know. I will see when they are of that age. Boarding schools normally take children from eleven, twelve years.

Ryan: If you ask me right now,

Schweta: will, when I get there, I will see. It's very subjective. What do you want for your child? Do you want my child to stay outside the home environment, stay there, and learn everything?

Or do you want that no, these are formative years, and during these years, I want to keep my child with me? It's very subjective.

Ryan: There is no answer. None.

Schweta: There is no answer. As a parent, what do you feel? You should do that. Personally, I feel that after eighteen, kids are anyway going to move out.

And they are

Ryan: the age of 25. They are still developing until

Schweta: 25. And no matter, if the school is good, there, of course, these schools now take a lot of care for their emotional well-being also.

Ryan: In fact, a pediatric case came to my clinic. The child was very stubborn, unruly, had no manners, and within a year, he moved to Bangalore, went to a boarding school. The same child came into my counseling room, "Good morning, Mr. Rahin, how are you today?"

I hadn't seen anything like this before, this, this, this growth, who is this? I mean, there was so much change, their parents changed so much, that they even sent the other child away. But I also have horror stories where kids go to boarding school and become so rebellious.

Schweta: Yup, absolutely. I have the same, two different sets of so many stories.

So there is

Ryan: no fixed rule thing? There is

Schweta: no fixed

Ryan: rule. We have to figure it out.

Schweta: And, and, yeah, and what works for your child may not work for my child.

Ryan: Come on, let's get into the kitchen with children. I always tell all parents that once a week, make a juice or smoothie or a dish. You, as parents, along with your child, do it together.

What a thing!

Ryan: Is it? In your

Ryan: house, what are the superfoods that you love to give your kid? I know this is my subject, but you are a mom

Ryan: and

Ryan: then you are a child expert. What do we see on Shweta ji's family table and plate? And you talked about disciplining.

Schweta: So I am a hardcore home-cooked food mom. Whatever is available in the departmental store will not enter my house.

Anything that is packaged, processed, sugary. Or it has any kind of, um, uh, you know, packaging done, food,

Ryan: food, uh, processed, no, what is that? Um, coloring, food processing color. Absolutely. So,

Schweta: So, let me explain my fundamental to you. From farm to table, right? Great. From farm to factory and then to table, then it's a no.

Anything that has gone to the factory. Now, understand what goes into the factory: canned juices, soups, fries, ketchup, instant noodles, cereals—none of that.

Ryan: Alright Shweta ji, the thought came into my head as you were speaking that I came up with a tagline: your body is the most expensive real estate.

What light bulb just went off in your head? Your children are your most valuable asset.

Schweta: Absolutely!

Ryan: Will you feed them from a factory?

Schweta: If I give a vision to a child, I show them a picture of Cristiano Ronaldo and an obese guy, and I ask, "What do you want to become?" "Mom, I want to become CR," and then I tell them, "To become this, child, this is the road."

Ryan: map, your path

Schweta: This is a road map, and sometimes, great kid, even I say, sometimes, we should enjoy, but

So I logically explain to my child, and I tell him step by step why we are doing this. You don't eat healthy because I said so. You do it because there is a reason behind it. Because mama has, you know, a plan and I want to align you. So if we stay aligned, it will be fun and it will be easy for you and for me to do this.

Ryan: Or,

Schweta: it is very simple. My child will, every day, eat vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and grains, all these things, in 30-30-30 percent proportion and 10 percent of fat. It means proteins, carbs, fibers, fats.

Ryan: The plate

Schweta: is made just like that.

Ryan: And if your children ask for pizza or outside food, then...

Schweta: Pizza, we bake it at home. And I tell him, our home-baked pizza is just as good as outside pizza. Because it's made on dough that is also made of quinoa, wheat, and jowar. It's a multi-grain dough with lots of toppings, lots of veggies. There's no cheese, it has homemade paneer. So, of course, it's not as yummy, but it's a super pizza, super healthy. And we both made and baked it together.

Ryan: Actually, my child says, "Boss, look, once you put on the hat, you don't need to worry about anything else. It makes you look smart." This hat

Schweta: Will you wear it or not?

Yes,

Ryan: Ah,

Schweta: Sure. You

Ryan: Let's talk about your father, who is a very good father. What do you think about being a good father? Sometimes I feel a bit guilty, like in the morning I'll make fresh squeezed orange juice, but then I'll keep a 100 percent pure orange juice tetra pack. But he's a true father.

Ryan: Absolutely. So I

Ryan: think if we teach children about nutrition and raise their awareness,

Schweta: Absolutely. They

Ryan: will get much smarter than us. So

Schweta: my child is four years old and he understands, "Mama, this has sugar, it's not healthy." He understands, and all of this training starts early. And I, as a parent, take the responsibility.

My child didn't learn this from somewhere else or from someone outside. What I allow in my house, what I have taught him, that's all he knows. Have I taught him enough? Have I taught him well? Ask yourself. Don't blame the child.

Ryan: Shweta, this is a very important point, and I am telling all parents that children observe us, what we eat, how we sleep, at what time we sleep, and what our discipline is like.

Three years ago, I restarted my karate. Because my child said, "Dad, I don't want to do karate." When I started, she saw me and said, "Dad is doing karate, I will do it too." Now we have a competition where she says, "Dad, you are only a green belt, I am better than you." So, how important is it for parents to lead by example by showing that I am exercising or not smoking?

I don't drink much alcohol in front of the child. So, how important is this on imprinting in the child?

Schweta: So do you know that, in India, I'm talking about research from India, and this is WHO's research for India, 50 percent of parents don't work out at all.

Ryan: In India?

Schweta: In India, 50 percent of parents in the 30 to 40 age group are young parents.

So you understand, I mean when my child grows up, will be 20 years old, If I'm not working out, I'm gonna lose my, uh, muscle, my bones will be affected, My entire.. my, right? I'll get fat.

Ryan: It will lead to, uh, cholesterol problems, diabetes problems, cholesterol, diabetes.

Schweta: sugar, BP, everything. Do I want my child, who is just 20 years old, to be running around taking care of my health, taking me to the hospital, when he should be focusing on building his career and life? Shouldn't I be the one saying, "Child, go live your life, I'm here, whenever you need me, I am there for you."

I am there for you.

Ryan: I'm not a sick person. I

Schweta: am a sick person, I cannot do anything, this mom cannot do, no. I will take care of my grandkids, child, while you are,

I won't give the child to a nanny. I'm here with the family. Your kid is going to be.

Ryan: And

Schweta: that is what I want today's parents to understand, that you have to take that responsibility.

And my responsibility at 60 years won't start at 60 years. It will start at 30 years.

Ryan: The other thing is, if we become late parents, our child won't have kids in their twenties either, so we will become grandparents, grandfathers, and grandmothers, in our 70s and 80s. 70s,

Schweta: 80s, right?

Ryan: Oh, that's such a

Schweta: powerful thought.

And then if you are not able to contribute, my child, my son, he is taking care of his infant, taking care of his sick parents. I don't want to give that to my child. I want to liberate my child. Child, you are free from my responsibilities. You don't have any of these worries. Because your mama has built a foundation.

I started building the foundation 30 years ago. You don't worry.

Ryan: All the media people here are laughing because we are young.

Schweta: But when we become grandparents

Ryan: It will happen, we have to start bodybuilding now, but this is one point, I don't want to make this point, that one is to inspire my child, but the other is to take care of my child's child.

Schweta: Younger, younger friends, they just started out, but they are... poor things, running around hospitals, their parents unfortunately are unwell. And, that is... And, and kids, out of love, they will of course, but, inside they feel like, you know... I want to work and I want to do this and I have here...

When I as a parent am completely healthy and fit, this foundation starts 30 years earlier. If you want to be healthy and fit at 60, you need to start strength training and nutrition from 30.

Ryan: Let's start. In the old days, the thought was to have children early, so that by 2025, when you get old, they can take care of you. But now, in this new era, we are all having children later.

Therefore, we as parents need to shift our mindset to take care of ourselves and inspire our children.

Schweta: Absolutely, and forget that our kids are going to stay in the same houses. They are going to go out, we are going to be empty nesters, we are not going to be living with our children.

Me and my spouse, right? So we just need to take care of ourselves, we know that already. And what does taking care mean? Health means workout, strength training, and eating right, having proper sleep, de-addiction to social media. Because studies show that people in the 30-40 age group are spending 8 hours on social media, 8 hours per day on social media. Imagine, imagine. So where is the world going?

We need to de-addict ourselves, and this is what we call Popcorn Brain. What is Popcorn Brain? It means our brain, constantly watching reels, seeing what's happening, now this graphic came, now this music came, this came. My brain has gotten used to some stimulation every 15 seconds. My brain cannot sit still.

I cannot calm down. Because my brain has been conditioned to crave constant stimulation, it's become addicted. We need to de-addict by reducing our social consumption. India,

Ryan: Listen, we need to reduce our social media consumption, watch fewer Ryan's reels, or else we'll get a slap.

Schweta: What you post is great. Because I get some inspiration and information from it, and it is working positively on my life, which is great. But if there are random people dancing to some random song, please, I don't want to see that.

Ryan: Speaking of random people dancing to some songs, when we have a child, we also feel like dancing.

Tantrums.

Ryan: Oh, yes.

Ryan: Right? The best way to handle tantrums and the message to give to parents is that tantrums will happen, tantrums will definitely happen, so what should we do?

Schweta: There is an explosion of neural connections in their brain, and their brain grows significantly, so gradually their tantrums start. Now, are tantrums bad? No, tantrums are healthy. Tantrums are a good sign that my child's brain is growing. It's a developmental milestone. A tantruming child is not a bad child.

But if I as a parent don't know how to handle the tantrum, is the child wrong? No! Alia Bhatt's child also throws tantrums, Kareena Kapoor's child does too, your child does, and so does mine. Every parent in the world, whose child has turned 2 years old, or even 1.5 years, 18 months, experiences tantrums.

He will do it anyway, which is okay. So I need to understand that my child's brain is very underdeveloped. I need to deal with the child very calmly. His impulse controls are missing. Impulse control means the part of my child's brain where many emotions are processed—anger, frustration, stubbornness—that part is developed. The amygdala, where emotions come from, is developed. But the prefrontal cortex, where emotions are regulated, is not developed. So emotions come, but regulation does not. I need to understand that scientifically, my child can't do anything. When my child is throwing a tantrum, he is not giving me a hard time. My child is... So I, as a parent, need to understand that, "Oh my poor baby, I am with you, child."

Until what age

Ryan: do this

Schweta: Can he? Between 2 to 7 years, this is the most. A 14-year-old throwing a tantrum

Ryan: What will he do then?

Schweta: to talk

Ryan: is.

Schweta: So

Ryan: Questioning is the brain.

Schweta: What I am saying is correct.

No matter how much you counsel your child, how much one-on-one time you spend with them, the child is bound to rebel. But the stronger your emotional connection with your child, the more they will stay in your control. And also, I will tell one thing to all the parents whose child is 9 and above: Please make sure you know your child's primary circle of friends and their families very well. Because if a bad influence enters your child's life, it is really going to impact their formative years, which are crucial for their entire future. So, to ensure the best for your child, make sure you know their friends and their families well.

If you keep it in that rigid way, just saying it and that's it, they are like, ignore you and they'll be like, "Tata bye-bye," not gonna listen to you. It doesn't work anymore.

Ryan: Actually, I had a client who gave me some advice. He said, "Ryan, when you buy a house, get a slightly bigger one." So I asked, "Why, sir?" He said, "When your child grows up, your house should be big enough for your child's friends to come over and party. Get a pizza oven, build your own bar." So I asked, "Why?"

kids, friends, I get up at 3 in the morning and cook for them after their partying. And I heard Shahrukh Khan does the same thing and that's why everyone likes to party with uncle Shahrukh.

Ryan: So

Ryan: I think we as parents should allow our children to grow up. And we should celebrate with them.

Schweta: Absolutely. What a beautiful thought to end this segment.

I think

Ryan: we're becoming too serious with, with the whole science of parenting. You need to be more relaxed, spend a little bit more time. But Shweta, before I let you go, I want a few words from you. Quick fire questions because you know we as parents are always busy. We don't have time. Yeah, so for India to inspire them and to come and watch this entire probably one of the best podcasts I've ever done in terms of it's so personal to my heart which is let's start off Okay.

Okay, one book or books that parents should read to get them ready for life.

Schweta: My personal favorite book is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk." It explores children's emotional experiences and how to communicate with them respectfully and politely, fostering a two-way dialogue. It's a beautiful book.

Ryan: Would you give this book to your friend?

Schweta: Many people!

Ryan: don't like to read. I know many people don't like to read. Is there any

Schweta: summary of the book.

Ryan: We are going to get you the YouTube summary of the book.

Schweta: Don't miss it

Ryan: 3 things that every parent should do with their kids just before bedtime.

Schweta: Physical, mental, emotional. Physical: hygiene, shower, brush.

Mental, read a book. And emotional, sleep. Counseling about what good and bad happened during the day, reflecting on that, and affirmations.

Ryan: What should we do when our kids come home from school?

Schweta: Don't ask them a lot of questions at first, like what happened, what did you eat, just follow their lead. And I missed you, kiddo.

Come, give me a hug and follow. Go along with whatever the child is doing and just make them feel special that after so many hours you are here and this is all I needed. Reinforcement of love.

Ryan: Five things that should never be in your kitchen.

Schweta: Ketchup. Instant noodles, sugary drinks, packaged biscuits, and anything from the department store like chips and processed foods.

Ryan: Four must-do activities with your kids.

Schweta: Just like with parents.

Ryan: Yes.

Schweta: Uh, outdoor play. Number two, sit down with open-ended toys like blocks and Lego. It enhances their creative imagination. Uh, number three, book reading and number four, meditation affirmations.

Ryan: things we need to do with our teenage children.

Schweta: Go on drives with them, invite their friends over, connect with them, and don't give too much advice.

Just, uh, be with them. Whatever they want to do, ride the tide.

Ryan: I like that, ride the tide. I'm going to use that with my son, right? The tired eye can. What can I do to distract my kid from screen time? Because he's addicted to it.

Schweta: Yeah, so I think you need to do a lot of activities which engage him. Otherwise, like arts or baking or taking, you know, in this way, some people take interest in different things. It should be something that keeps him busy.

When he gets bored, he starts acting out.

Ryan: As much as the husband, who is on the screen

Schweta: No, it happens naturally. For parents, it's about making their own efforts. Seven to 14 years, which is where we enhance their academics and other skills, and 14 to 21 years is the last seven where they are on to self-discovery, identifying who am I, what is my role in this world, what value am I bringing. So these are the three sevens in a child's life.

Ryan: Wow, wow.

Schweta: Just like I am with Parwal, who is with Jingar, I would really empower the family to connect more with the children.

Parents should calm down, model calm behavior, and understand that it's not the child's fault. Children are just children; all children are like this. Understand your child. Don't get so angry or frustrated with them. Be patient and kind to yourself. Spend quality time. And trust me, all parents need to do this.

I wish more parents knew this.

Ryan: Shweta ji, recently in Australia, a social media bill was passed that bans social media for children under 16 years of age. If you were the cabinet minister for child education, wellness, and development, would you feel that our country also needs a ban like this?

Schweta: 100%, I, I couldn't, like, you know, agree with this more, 100%.

Ryan: True.

Schweta: Because social media is distracting this generation a lot.

Ryan: So, does that mean our future generation is not going to be very powerful?

Schweta: Not very powerful, because everyone is becoming fickle-minded with social media. They are getting trapped in low vibrational negative thoughts. At this age, I shouldn't even be thinking about these things, I shouldn't have these worries at such a young age.

Ryan: I am scared because AI is coming, AI will take over everything. It is already, it is changing how

Schweta: businesses are working. It is already changing so much and AI has just arrived, only one percent of AI is here. Imagine AI coming in full power. Wow, the world is going to be like a different place. You and I cannot even fathom what is happening in this world.

What world we saw and what are we seeing now. And we are the only generation that is going to see this, you know, split. In the next country, people are going a lot.

Ryan: Madam, in our country, respect for girls is somewhat lacking. It's very important for all the mothers to teach their male children, their sons, to respect women.

It is important for their male child to be taught to respect women.

Schweta: He doesn't have to tell his son about their mail, it's about their upbringing. My husband, the father, also has to tell my son, mama is equal to dad and sister is equal to you. We are all equals. There's nothing based on gender.

Because, subconsciously, somewhere, despite being so educated, we do things like putting Agastya in football class and Amara in dance or arts class. So, we as parents really need to break this pattern. We are all equal, and that's how we should set an example in our day-to-day life at home. It's not like one fine day I'll tell my child, "Kids, uh, girls and boys are equal." No, through daily practice, my child sees this every day, and it goes into his subconscious mind. And it becomes normal for him that yes, girls and boys are equal.

Ryan: Shweta, why do people contact you and where can they contact you?

Schweta: So, uh, we have a course, like I do a lot of online coaching. There's a certified program in child psychology. NLP, subconscious mind certified program.

Ryan: So, is this for parents or for other child experts?

Schweta: For the parent.

Ryan: So, I can enroll in this course. Absolutely.

And how long does it last?

Schweta: It's a monthly course.

Ryan: How much time will I need to dedicate?

Schweta: Uh, three times a week.

Ryan: Today?

Schweta: 90 minutes, 90 - 90. Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Ryan: You can contact Shweta Ji because our children are our most valuable asset.

Schweta: Absolutely, yes.

Ryan: Any final words of wisdom for India?

Schweta: Calm down, parents. Don't get so angry, don't get frustrated, get de-addicted from social media, and focus on simple joys and wisdom. Play with your children, eat together, there's so much noise around, but that noise doesn't matter. What matters is our family, our children, and children will learn as much as we teach them.

So take the responsibility to teach your child well and with love, not with scolding. If you teach with love, they will learn more, learn better, and retain it longer. So, yes, that's it. Happy parenting to you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Ryan: Thank you for watching this far. It's been an amazing episode and I'm so grateful to have you till the end.

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Resources

• Schweta Gandhi’s School for Parenting

• Books and courses on mindful parenting available on her website.

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You can find Shweta here: 

1. Instagram:   / schweta.happyminds  

2. YouTube:    / @shwetamerchantgandhi5241  

3. Facebook:   / shweta.merchant.7  

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